So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
