After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
It's never too late to be topless.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
