Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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