Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
The power of my boobs compel you
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
