we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize
