No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
