we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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