i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Im part way to drunk.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
