new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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