I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
We don't watch enough power rangers
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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