And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
