Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
