brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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