Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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