I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just invented taco cereal.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
