I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
