one might say we're banned from that church
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
