i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize