every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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