so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Randomize