remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
