okay pat passed out under dana's car
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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