Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
