what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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