***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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