WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
