I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
