i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
