he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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