I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
