dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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