Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
