I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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