A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize