im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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