how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
