i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
