it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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