Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
if i died would you start the facebook group?
either way he was missing a nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize