and you said cock pushups were impossible
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
