Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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