Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
