Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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