it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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