Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
