Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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