Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
