Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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