So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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