Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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