i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
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Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
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You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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