we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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