Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
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The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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