yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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