Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
