dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
