Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
