i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
send nudes
from the living room?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
