bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
