no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
