Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
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