my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
