I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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