Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize