I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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