need another drink. this is the easiest way
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
