just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
