I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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