like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
